TARK
by stress
Summary: TARK...THE ANNOYING REDHEADED KID. They thought he was a nobody. Silly girls. [CRACK!FIC, NML LIST FIC]
1. The E-mail...

This is the beginning of a silly fic that I'm doing just to change the pace of my other more serious ones!  
  
(Which you should read by the way *hint hint nudge nudge*)  
  
Disclaimer: As hard as I may wish and cry and beg and plead, I do not, repeat DO NOT, own any of the Newsies, especially The Annoying Red-headed Kid (thank God for that one) I only own myself - Jess/Stress - and any other girl in this loverly story is the property of herself!  
  
  
  
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It was a nice spring morning. Jess, known as Stress in the newsieverse, was just starting her day. Pulling her long brown curls back in a bun as she ran down to the basement to boot up the computer, she ignored her mother's nagging voice.  
  
"Jess, can you come vacuum the living room? The rabbit had an accident again." she called from the kitchen where she was washing the breakfast dishes.  
  
"Lancie? Not again. Uggh, I don't wanna have to clean up his mess today. That's what Woody is for." Jess said to herself as she tried to tune out the stupid Windows song that always comes on when she logs onto her brother's, the aforementioned Woody, computer. All of a sudden she had a flash of brilliance. "Sure, Mom. In a minute." Jess's "in-a-minute's" were famous in her household. They always meant "when I'm done with doing something that is either way more important or way more fun than what you want me to do, then maybe I'll do that too."  
  
Satisifed that her mother would just get aggravated and give up on her, Jess logged on to Lycos.com to read her e-mail. Now, for any other ordinary 18 1/2 year old girl, that might be an average feat. But Jess was not ordinary. She was one of the proud, the few (well not too few, 500+ members is a lot!), the strong: a member of the NML.  
  
The NML, or in layman's terms - The Newsies Mailing List - was the reason why it took so long for Jess to go through her daily e-mail. Courtesy of her fellow Newsies Nut Cases, Jess usually had fifty-some-odd e-mails to read on an average day.  
  
On that average day, that glorious spring morning, Jess was reading an e- mail from one of her Internet Newsies pals - Quipster. It was an average "Write more fic or else I'm gonna send an annoying Newsie after you" e- mail. Jess had already sent Davey and Crutchy to annoy Quipster but that all stopped when Quipster found Jess's weakness- The Annoying Red-headed Kid from the beginning of the movie. Yes, you know the one: Mr "Get the lead out of your pants" himself. After an agreement that Jess would write more fic to send to the list, Quipster agreed to keep The Annoying Red- headed Kid in her drawer for safe-keeping.  
  
But what Quipster didn't know, or any other NMLer for that matter, was that The Annoying Red-headed Kid had escaped to wreak havoc on Manhattan.  
  
But not present-day Manhattan. Of course not. The Annoying Red-headed Kid could only wreak havoc in New York, 1899 style. And since it would be much more fun to wreak havoc on people who knew who he was, the ever-mighty, the immortal, the powerful, The Annoying Red-headed Kid, he was gonna bring some friends along with him.  
  
All it would take is a click of a mouse, a snap of the fingers, the perfect moment and a sock. Well, the sock was just to keep his left foot warm. He always was losing his left sock, but never the right one. Because the ever- mighty, The Annoying Red-headed Kid, was so powerful he could tell his left sock from his right sock. But that's not important right now.  
  
After he stole one of Quipster's left socks right out of the sock drawer he was imprisoned in, The Annoying Red-headed Kid, who had escaped while Quipster was in school, had set up his plan. To a select few, 31 girls to be exact, he sent an e-mail:  
  
Hiya!  
  
You are gonna be in a new fic that I'm writing starring that ever-so-sexy red-headed boy who works for the distribution center. Just send me your name and you're in!  
  
Thanks,  
  
T.A.R.K.  
  
Then The Annoying Red-headed Kid snapped his fingers and tucked a little bit of his mystical power into each individual e-mail, ensuring they were sent to the right people. Cause he only wanted the right people around when he wreaked havoc. Not only was he ever-mighty, immortal and powerful, The Annoying Red-headed Kid was a wee bit snooty to boot.  
  
It was that e-mail that Jess was about to read as she sat in the cellar of her home. Watching "The Smurfs" on Cartoon Network as she browsed through her e-mail, Jess saw that there was an e-mail address she didn't recognize that had sent her an e-mail with the words "new fic" in the subject line. "Oooh, a newbie. And they want to write a fic so soon, awesome! Let's see what they have to say. " Jess said, her green eyes alit with interest, as she clicked on the e-mail to read.  
  
"Oh, wow. A fic about that annoying red-headed kid. How interesting. And what an unique NN-- T.A.R.K.. But, heck it's a fic, and I loooooooooooooove to be in fic's, so I'm in!" she said joyfully to herself as she quickly typed a reply and went to click the "send" button. She got sidetracked when she heard her mother grumbling about "so-called" adults who spend there day solely on the computer.  
  
Prepared to go upstairs and defend her computer dealings, Jess got up and went to leave the cellar. "Oops, it didn't work." she noted before turning to leave the computer room of the basement. Directing the mouse back to the "send" button, Jess clicked, sending her reply to T.A.R.K.'s request.  
  
"Hey, Mom. I'll be right there, I need to talk to you." she called up the stairs, not noticing the purple cloud that had snuck out of the back of the computer monitor. Just as she went to walk up the stairs, she let out a scream when the mysterious purple cloud morphed into a giant hand and pulled her through the computer screen.  
  
"Or, maybe not..." her voice faintly echoed as the computer glowed bright white before shutting itself off.  
  
  
  
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Believable, huh? I didn't think so! That's why it's fiction, YAY! Gotta love it! What did you think? Is it worthy of continue or do you not care? LMK!  
  
~**STRESS**~ 


	2. Meet the girlies...

Thank you to those who gave me feedback and inspired me to continue with this story:  
  
Monday  
  
Slash!  
  
Reeny  
  
Tunes  
  
Discord  
  
Tinker  
  
Quipster  
  
Prankster  
  
Patchess  
  
Princess  
  
Lucky  
  
Wish  
  
Loch  
  
Chesa  
  
Quirky  
  
Holiday  
  
Jibajabba  
  
Gemini  
  
Sab  
  
Iris (yup!)  
  
and  
  
meggiebaby81 (Because you put me in yours, I put you in this one, hehe!! Just send me your info—NN (I used Megs for now but I'll change it if you want), guy, looks and personality)  
  
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*****Flying through multi-colored swirls*****  
  
"Where am I????" Jess heard her voice call as everything around her spun in circles. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple- all the colors of the rainbow swirled around her as she flew through a humongous black void. "I think I'm gonna be siiiiiiiiick..."  
  
Covering her mouth with her hand, Jess tried to keep her breakfast down. Cheerios were only good when they went down not when they were coming up.  
  
Just when she thought she would have to say hello to her meal, Jess tumbled forward through a large hole that had appeared out of nowhere.  
  
"Ouch!" she exclaimed, rubbing the sore spot on her jeans where she had landed. Getting up, straightening her white tank top and getting herself ready to bug out on the first person she saw, Jess looked around to take in her new surroundings. The only thing she saw was the color white and blue sticks floating every few feet in the snowy nothing-ness. "Now, where am I?" she moaned.  
  
All of a sudden Jess jumped back in surprise as another figure was dropped into the vicinity. "Ouch!" the figure, a mid-sized girl clad in a light blue baby tee and matching boot cut jeans, with long black hair that was held back with a blue visor and brown eyes that were covered in blue-tinted sunglasses, cried as she rubbed her sore rear ended where she had landed. "Now, where am-- Who are you?" she asked as she saw Jess staring at her.  
  
"The name is Jess. And you?" Jess asked as she extended her hand to help the other girl up.  
  
"My name is Julie. Since you were here before me... What the hell am I doing here?" Julie asked, looking extremely puzzled at having dropped out of the muliti-colored-nowhere into the blank-but-with-strange-floating- sticks-nowhere.  
  
Jess pulled her blondish-brown hair out of her scrunchie and let it flow down her shoulders; The only way for her head to stop pounding when it hurt was to loosen the pressure on her hair. Or so she thought; it never really worked but anyways... onto the story...  
  
"I haven't got the foggiest idea. The last thing I remember was replying to this stupid e-mail from-" Jess started as she absent-mindedly pulled at a lock of her hair. (Cause that really was helping the headache she got from flying through her computer...)  
  
Julie cut her off. "T.A.R.K., right?"  
  
"Oh my gosh! How did you know that? Are you some kind of secret spy that stalks me and watches what I do. Cause I didn't do it, I swear!" Jess said as her green eyes fiilled with paranoid panic.  
  
Julie rolled her eyes before answering. "No, you idiot. The only reason I know that is because the last thing I remember doing before I landed here was checking my e-mail back in my home in Seattle. I replied to a request to be in a fic by this new dude- T.A.R.K.. The next thing I know, I'm floating through a multi-colored swirly place."  
  
Jess was really lost. "Well, that means that you must be part of the NML, right?"  
  
"Yup, it would mean that, wouldn't it." Julie answered, not really paying attention to Jess. She was trying to figure out how she was going to get home.  
  
"Cool, what's your name?"  
  
"I already told you, Julie. Oh, wait, I guess you mean my NN. It's Wish." Julie, from now on in known as Wish, replied.  
  
"Ahhh!!! You're Wish? That is so cool! My NN is Stress!" Jess, who will now be known as Stress, shouted.  
  
Wish stuck her finger in her ear, trying to get it to stop ringing after Stress's unearthly scream. "Stress, this is awesome! But it still doesn't help us. We are still stuck in this wacko place."  
  
Stress got an evil grin. She had an idea to see if it really was Wish that was standing with her in the weird nothing-ness with blue sticks. "Skittery." she said, right behind Wish.  
  
At the mention of his name, Wish jumped up in the air and did a full circle before landing and shrieking, "Where?"  
  
"Yup, you're Wish." Stress giggled as she dodged Wish's pissed-off glare. It disappeared when Wish's face lit up in an evil grin. "Jack."  
  
"Where?" Stress said as she looked over her shoulder, before realizing that it was just Wish's way of getting her back.  
  
Before Stress could come up with a way to get back at Wish, another figure joined them. This time the figure, a taller girl than Wish, but still shorter than Stress, with shoulder length curly brown hair, hazel-gray eyes and wearing a noticeable gold cross over her black t-shirt and jeans, landed and sat there with an awed expression on her face. "Wow."  
  
Wish and Stress exchanged a look. "T.A.R.K.?" Wish asked as she helped the new girl to her feet.  
  
"What?" she asked as she took her backpack off and sat it at her feet.  
  
Wish was about to re-ask her question when Stress jumped backwards and put her fingers in the shape of a cross. "You keep that backpack away from me! There's a backpack out there somewhere that has Snipeshooter inside and it migh be yours!" she cried fearfully as she backed away from the other girl's backpack.  
  
The new girl's eyes widened as realization dawned on her. "Stress?" she whispered as she put the backpack behind her back.  
  
Stress calmed down considerably when the backpack was hidden from her sight. "Who wants to know?" she asked suspiciously.  
  
"It's me, Mandy. You know, Holiday on the NML! Come on, I'm the one that threatened you with taking Snipes out of my backpack, remember?"  
  
Stress jumped backwards again and knocked over one of the floating blue sticks. "Holiday, then Snipes really is in that backpack! Keep it away from me! You know how much he scares me." she pouted as she sent death glares to the backpack she knew was hidden behind Holiday.  
  
Wish stepped between the girls and faced Holiday. "Hiya Holiday. You're right, that nutcase over there is Stress and I'm Wish. We're both on the NML with you. Don't mind her," she added when she noticed Holiday looking at Stress questioningly, "I think she hit her head when she got sucked through her computer. That is what happened to you, right? I bet you replied to T.A.R.K.'s e-mail and the next thing you knew you were here."  
  
Holiday nodded. "Yup, that's exactly what happened to me. Are you sure that she's O.K.?" Stress was staring with her mouth opened as she started to point at a black speck.  
  
Both Wish and Holiday mimicked her gesture when the black speck turned into a black hole. All three of the girls jumped back when the black hole convulsed and spit out three more girls. There was a tall girl with long straight brown hair and bright green eyes, a short girl with shoulder length red hair and blue eyes and a medium sized girl with curly brown hair and blue eyes.  
  
The taller girl stepped forward and started cursing up a storm at the black hole that was still looming overhead. The black hole let out a mournful cry, shrank back down to a black speck and disappeared. The red-head girl looked over at her foul-mouthed friend and sighed. "Good job, Molly. You just upset the only way that we could have used to go home."  
  
Molly stopped shaking her fist and faced her two friends. "I'm sorry Marissa. I'm sorry Katie. But what do you expect? That thing just spit us out into this place and now we are stuck here and who the hell are you?" Molly questioned when she spotted Wish, Stress and Holiday standing together.  
  
It was Holiday's turn to try to explain. "T.A.R.K.? NML? E-mail? Reply? You girls? Here." Holiday wasn't much of a talker after being thrown out of her home and landing with a bunch of girls, especially one that kept shooting fearful looks at her schoolbag.  
  
When Katie and Marissa just stood there with their mouths open, Molly walked forward with a smile on her face. "Yup."  
  
Katie looked at Molly in amazement. "You understood what she meant?"  
  
"Certainly. What this girl here just asked was if we replied to the e-mail that T.A.R.K. sent to us through the NML. I take it that's how we got here." Molly turned to face the three strangers in front of her. "I take it you girls are on the NML as well. I'm Quipster, this is Jibajabba and that shortie over there is Squibble, Davey's *gag* Darling."  
  
Stress, carefully avoiding Holiday's backpack, darted forward and squealed "Quipster?"  
  
"Ummm... Do I know you?" Quipster looked doubtful and shoved Jibajabba in front of her in case the girl that had approached her was someone she had pissed off by posting her rated R fic that time without it's rating.  
  
"It's me Stress. Did you bring any of your fic with you?" she asked eagerly. She couldn't wait to see what happened to her in the story.  
  
"Well, when that giant blue hand shot out of my computer and snatched me, Squibble and Jibajabba up, I never thought to bring some of my story. Sorry."  
  
"You're hand was blue? The one that grabbed me was orange." Wish added, feeling left out of the conversation.  
  
"Oh, I almost forgot. Quip, Jibajabba and Squibble meet Holiday and Wish. They got snatched through their computers too!" Stress added as if they were all incredibly lucky to be snatched through their computers.  
  
"Hi. Just to let you know, she was like this when we got here. I don't know how long she's been like this. I hope just recently." Holiday added under her breath. Stress had never seemed so off when she had posted. Well, actually, anyone who claimed a fictional character as her minion may not be all there.  
  
But then again, they aren't fictional are they? I guess we'll have to see about that.  
  
Anyways, about six hours later, Stress, Wish, Holiday, Quipster, Squibble and Jibajabba had been joined by twenty-five other confused, lost, puzzled and even befuddled NMLer's.  
  
"O.K. Let me just see if I get all your names straight. I'm just going to use your NN because it's easier for me, K?" Stress said as she looked at all the girls that stood around her. "And can I just say, that it is so great to be meeting you all in person!"  
  
Many of the girls rolled their eyes. "This is the girl who we voted leader?" they seem to all want to ask.  
  
But it was true. They had let Stress be the leader of their group while they were stuck there only because she had been the first one there. Besides they had a way to control her. All Holiday had to do was begin to unzip her backpack and Stress would stop what she was doing in a second.  
  
"O.K., we got Wish, Holiday, Quipster, Squibble, Jibajabba, Braces, Princess, Discord, Feisty, Chesapeake, Reeny, Slash!, Prankster, Moneybags, Tunes, Sab, Briar, Frizz, Lucky, Tinker, Loch, Patchess, Pisky, Laces, Monday, Satine, Iris, Dice, Megs, Quirky and in case you weren't listening, me, Stress. Wow, that's a lot of us. I wonder why we are here?"  
  
"Don't forget, where are we?" added Slash!. The other girls nodded their heads and murmured their agreements. Just because they knew how they got there didn't bring them any closer to figuring out where they were or why they were there.  
  
"I kin answah dat question, Missy." came a voice that seemed to appear from nowhere as another black hole appeared .  
  
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See, now I've introduced all the girlies who are gonna be in it… Next chapter brings in all the guys and the kind of plot to the story!! Review please! I need to know if people are liking this!! 


	3. Here comes T.A.R.K....

See, I promised that I would have more T.A.R.K. for you all, as well as a surprise!! (It'll be at the end of this chapter!!) But first, the Thank you's! Thank you to:  
  
Monday  
  
Slash!  
  
Reeny  
  
Tunes  
  
Discord  
  
Tinker  
  
Quipster  
  
Prankster  
  
Patchess  
  
Princess  
  
Lucky  
  
Wish (Can I have my chocolate-covered Jack now?)  
  
Loch  
  
Chesa  
  
Quirky  
  
Holiday  
  
Jibajabba  
  
Gemini  
  
Sab  
  
Iris (thanks for dancing Jack!)  
  
Megs  
  
Satine  
  
Shimmer  
  
Moneybags  
  
Squibble  
  
Laces  
  
Pisky  
  
BlackRose  
  
Bon Bon  
  
Briar  
  
And anyone else I may have forgotten… I love you anyways!!  
  
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"I kin answah dat question, Missy." came a voice that seemed to appear from nowhere as another black hole appeared.  
  
All thirty-one of the girls jumped into the air and landed in a huge dog- pile upon hearing a voice call from the black hole. No one moved at all, all of the girls waiting for the knowledgeable person to fall from the sky like they had.  
  
Instead of entering the white nothing-ness, the voice stayed lodged in the black hole. "Ha ha ha, you'se goils look so funny down deah." an annoying male voice, riddled with a thick - and grammatically incorrect - New Yawk accent, called.  
  
Though many of the girls shook their fists up at the black hole and mumbled curses towards it, no one actually stepped forward to ask him the answer to Slash!'s question.  
  
"I have an idea!" whispered Discord, who was at the top of the dog-pile. She whispered it to Quirky, who whispered it down to Moneybags who whispered it to Tunes and so on and so forth until everyone had heard Discord's idea except for Stress. Discord, who was still on the top of the pile since none of the girls had moved at all, shouted "One, two, three!" and upon three, Loch, Reeny and Braces pushed Stress out of the pile.  
  
"Hey, what's the big idea?" she called as she landed again on her rump. If she wasn't careful she was going to have one hell of a bruise when she got back to Edison!  
  
"You were voted leader, remember? Now lead us and find out who that voice belongs to!" called Monday's voice, faintly because she was still hidden under Lucky in the middle of the pile.  
  
Stress shrugged and looked up at the black hole that was looming above them. "O.K., since I'm the leader, as Monday was kind enough to point out, I guess you have to answer to me, the all-mighty Stress." she yelled as she flexed her measley biceps.  
  
The semi-fierceness she had wanted to portray was thrown off when two other girls that were still lying at the top of the dog-pile, Feisty and Chesa, broke out into giggles. The other girls all joined in, pointing at Stress who was still acting as if she was a candidate for the Mister Universe Contest.  
  
"Silence, miserable Newsies fans." screeched the voice, while shaking the white-nothingness and knocking the blue sticks out of their floating positions. "Mwahahahaha!" he laughed as the blue sticks fell on top of the dogpile, quieting all the giggles.  
  
Stress stood up and glared at the black hole. "Who do you think you are? That hurt!" she cried as she rubbed her head where a blue stick had just whacked her. A chorus of "Yeah"'s and "Ouch"'s followed as all of the girls finally got to their feet. Well, most of them tried to get to their feet; As Sab went to stand up, she tripped over a non-floating blue stick on the ground and sent herself flying. As she flew she grabbed onto Megs and Frizz and took them with her, resulting in another, smaller, dog-pile. "Oops, did I do that?" Sab giggled as Megs and Frizz rolled their eyes and crawled away from the ditzy brunette.  
  
Stress took a few steps over to her right to stand directly under the black hole. "Who are you, Mister-I'm-So-Mighty-Up-There-In-My-Black-Hole-Where- the-Beautiful-and-Talented-Girls-of-the-NML-Can't-Get-Me-and--?"  
  
"Stress, shut up!" cried Laces, Iris and Dice in one voice. As Stress wandered off to sulk because her rant was interrupted, Dice turned to face the black hole. "What our - er, verbose- leader meant to ask is: Who are you?"  
  
Once again evil laughter errupted from the black hole. "You'se goilies wanna know who I is? I'll give you'se a hint. 'Get da lead outta your pants!' Mwahahahaha!"  
  
In unison, all the NMLer's let out a gasp. It couldn't be...No, he wouldn't...  
  
Squibble turned to face Quipster. "I know that's not who I think it is because he's still locked in your drawer, right? Right Quipster?"  
  
Quipster started to whistle as she avoided making eye contact with any of the other girls.  
  
Tinker hit her forehead with her hand. "You let him escape, didn't you Quipster?"  
  
"You don't know that that voice belongs to the annoying kid. He could just be pretending to play a joke on us all." Quipster said indignantly, trying to save her own butt.  
  
Prankster threw her arms out around her. "Lovely joke, eh? In case you've all forgotten, we're still stuck here."  
  
Satine stepped forward. "And where is here? And who are you? If you're not the kid in Quipster's drawer, who are you?"  
  
Patchess chimed in. "Yeah, why don't you show yourself, you big coward!" she cried before turning to hide behind Briar. Briar, afraid that Patchess may have offended the voice, pushed her towards Pisky. Pisky pushed her back at Briar and a full-leghth game of Pass-the-Patchess was started. After a quick game, where Pisky's team won 21-20, the girls turned back to face the black hole and question the voice that had shut up while he had watched the match.  
  
"O.K., are you ready to show yourself to us, now?" called Wish.  
  
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, their surroundings glittered bright orange and there was a tiny explosion as a figure appeared. "As per you'se request, I'se heah. Da one an' only - T.A.R.K." the short red- headed figure announced as he took a bow.  
  
"Quipster?!" cried thirty female voices.  
  
"I didn't do it!" Quipster said in response as she shook her head. How was she to know that the annoying kid in her drawer could - and would- escape?  
  
"Naw, she didn't do it. I escaped meself." he said proudly.  
  
"Why did you escape? And why are we here? And where is here anyways?" questioned Holiday in rapidfire succession. She was about to let out another round of questions when Jibajabba noticed and covered Holiday's mouth with her hand. "Let him answer those questions first, Holiday."  
  
T.A.R.K. smirked at the girls as he gestured all around him. "I t'ought dat would be obvious. Why else would awl dese floatin' sticks be heah if dis place wasn't Limbo?"  
  
T.A.R.K.'s sentence was cut off when thirty of the girls groaned at the awful pun. Only Sab looked confused. "I don't get it? I like to limbo."  
  
T.A.R.K. ignored Sab's stupid comment and continued with answering Holiday's questions. "Now dis brings me why I escaped an' got awl you'se goils ta come heah."  
  
"Let me guess, it was you that sent us an e-mail to get us here, right?" questioned Stress, with an obvious pout in her voice. She still hadn't gotten over being told to shut up.  
  
"Ooh, Stress, you'se so smaht." T.A.R.K. said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. How many ever-mighty, immortal and powerful-enough-to-suck- thirty-one-girls-through-their-computer-screen-T.A.R.K.'s did this girl think were running around nowadays?  
  
The sarcasm was lost on Stress. "Thanks, I always thought so." she said smugly as the other girls all ignored her and turned back to listen to T.A.R.K's reasons for dragging them out of their homes.  
  
"Well, I got bored bein' locked up in Quipstah's sock drawah an' I t'ought dat I'd have some fun wreakin' havoc in Manhattan."  
  
Loch looked over at T.A.R.K. in confusion. "But why do you need us here? I don't think any of us live in Manhattan, so what good are we?"  
  
T.A.R.K. laughed evilly again. "Mwahahahaha! When I say Manhattan, I don't mean Manhattan in 2002, I mean Manhattan 1899 wheah awl me fellow newsies live."  
  
Not being able to control herself, Reeny screamed out loud. "You mean, we're going to be able to meet the newsies? Quick, someone catch me! I think I'm going to faint!" Unfortunately no one was paying any attention to her because they were too busy freaking out at the idea of meeting their beloved newsies.  
  
As Reeny rubbed her butt where she had landed when she had fainted, Princess calmly asked T.A.R.K. "Is it true? Is that why we are here? Are we gonna get to meet the newsies? Am I going to get to meet Skittery? Please tell me I'm going to get to meet my Skittery!" she ended her sentence in a high-pitch squeal as she started to jump up and down.  
  
T.A.R.K. shot Princess a warning look as Chesa ran forward to calm her down. "Like I was sayin' befoah, yes I'se gonna take you'se awl ta me hometown. But be prepared of what you'se find, goilies! Tis wreakin' havoc time!" he shouted as he snapped his fingers three times and disappeared in a puff of smoke.  
  
"That was strange." Quirky said as she watched the smoke clear to find that T.A.R.K. was gone.  
  
All of a sudden, Limbo began to shake, rattle and roll. The girls flew from one side to the next, upside down and inside out until they found themselves sprawled out in the middle of a dirt street in a crowded city.  
  
"That was stranger." Tunes remarked as she got to her feet , looking around, wide-eyed.  
  
"Girls, I think we have arrived." Discord remarked with a huge smile on her face.  
  
"Ahhh! We're in Manhattan!! Where are the newsies?? I wanna see my JAAAACCCKKK!!" Stress screamed as she got up and began to run around in circles, taking in all the sights at once.  
  
Slash! reached outwards and tapped Stress on the shoulder. Stress stopped running around in circles and calmed down. "O.K., I think I got that out of my system. Now, as your leader, I think we should make a quick plan up. Any ideas?"  
  
Tinker jumped forward. "Oooh, I know. I can go run to Brooklyn, find Spot and rape him!" she said excitedly.  
  
"Umm- no. I don't think so. Any other suggestions?" Stress asked, ignoring the look Tinker was giving her. When no one else gave an answer, they all wanted to go find and have their way with their favorite newsies and had no other ideas in mind than doing that, Stress came up with a *gasp* good idea. "I know, guys. How about we try to find the Lodging House and then we can meet the newsies and do the unmentionables. Then we can go to Brooklyn, find Spot and Tinker can rape him." she added so that Tinker would stop shooting death glares in her direction. It was scary.  
  
All the girls applauded her idea; They knew that the only thing in her mind was to get Jack alone while she had the chance.  
  
"Now, in order to make things a little easier for everyone, especially since I think that thirty-one girls waltzing into the LH knowing everything about them might make the newsies a wee bit nervous -- Don't you just love that phrase? A wee bit? I think it's darling and--"  
  
"Stress, just when you come up with a good idea, you blow it by opening up your mouth." Quipster said, anxious for Stress to just get to the point for once. "What should we do to make things easier?"  
  
"Like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," she paused a moment to stick her tongue out at Quipster, "I think that we might just scare them if we act like ourselves. I think that we should all agree on who is going for each newsie and afterwards we'll all meet up together later. You know, over by the Horace Greeley statue, so that we can share our adventures. Does that sound okay?"  
  
When she was met with nodding heads, she opened her mouth.. "I get dibs on Jack!"  
  
Briar and Lucky both groaned but knew better than to argue. Stress thought that Jack was hers and nothing they could say would ever persuade her otherwise. "In that case, I get Snoddy." claimed Briar.  
  
"I want Specs." added Lucky.  
  
Slash! turned suddenly to face Lucky. "No, Lucky, I get Specs."  
  
Lucky tried to argue with Slash! "No, I called him first, therefore he's mine."  
  
Eager to meet up with Skittery, Wish tried to point out the obvious before Slash! replied to Lucky's last remark. "Guys, you know that there is 31 of us but only a few of the prominent newsies. Of course there is gonna be doubles, so we are just gonna have to share, k?"  
  
Briar looked over at Stress eagerly. "Stress, will you share Jack with me, then?"  
  
Stress looked appalled at the very idea. "No. You can have Snoddy."  
  
Briar shrugged. It was worth a shot. "O.K., I get Snoddy."  
  
Soon the air was full of the NMLer's calling out names of their favorite newsies. Once everyone had staked their claim, Stress recited the groups to make sure everyone knew who was doing who-- I mean what. "O.K., when we get to the LH, I'm gonna get Jack, Briar gets Snoddy, Monday gets Dutchy, Pisky gets Mush, Squibble gets Davey, Prankster gets Itey, Quirky gets Jake and Holiday gets Bumlets. Slash! and Lucky are gonna share Specs, Sab and Patchess are gonna share Blink, and Feisty, Dice and Moneybags are gonna share Race. Of course Spot is the most popular. I guess we're gonna have to visit Brooklyn soon so that Megs, Iris, Braces, Discord, Jibajabba, Laces, Frizz, Tinker and Loch can grovel at his feet." she said with a smirk as she ducked the playful - O.K., not so playful - shoves the Spot fanatics gave her. She then turned to face another group of girls who were shooting each other suspicious looks. "And, for some reason, Princess, Wish, Chesa, Tunes and Reeny want to spend some time with Mr. Pink Undies, himself. What about you Quipster?" she addressed the only girl who couldn't make up her mind of which newsie she was going to attatch herself too.  
  
Quipster smiled a knowing smile. "I don't know yet. I just want to meet all the newsies."  
  
Stress shrugged and stopped a young newsie passing by. "Hey, you. Can you tell us how to get to the Manhattan Newsboys Lodging House?"  
  
The kid looked up at Stress with a sad look in his eyes. "Hehe, dis heah dame looks like da poifect suckah for me poor orphan routine." he thought to himself before coughing pitifully. "Shoah, ma'am. COUGH COUGH It's a few blocks COUGH COUGH dat way. COUGH COUGH COUGH." he added for insurance.  
  
"Oh, you poor thing. Here's a dollar for you. Thanks for telling us which way to go." she said as she patted him on the head and handed him a dollar, not realizing he had taken her for a sap.  
  
The other girls just shook their heads at Stress's gullibility - if that's even a word. They all eagerly headed in the direction the young nameless newsie had pointed them in, anxious to see their newsies in person.  
  
When they reached the lodging house, all thirty-one of the girls squealed in delight to see the building from the movie they knew so well standing right in front of them.  
  
Before any of the girls had a chance to run inside, Chesa voiced something that had been nagging her since they had left Limbo. "Hey guys, what do you think T.A.R.K. meant when he said that he brought us all here to see him wreaking havoc in Manhattan 1899?"  
  
The only one who actually paid attention to her when she asked her question, Monday, just shrugged as she followed the girls into the lodging house. As they ran past the lobby, leaving a bewildered looking Kloppman in their wake, and thundered up the lodging house stairs, the girls were all giddy and excited at the idea of seeing their newsies in person.  
  
When they arrived at the door of the bunkroom the domino effect took over. The first five girls at the door, Stress, Feisty, Squibble, Holiday and Loch, stopped once they saw the sight before them. The next five girls, Frizz, Megs, Wish, Discord and Sab, didn't have enough time to stop and ended up bowling the first three over. Then the next five girls knocked over them and so on until the only two girls, the two girls that had calmly strolled up the steps instead of stampeding like a herd of rampaging elephants, worse yet female elephants with raging hormones, that were left standing, gawked in horror.  
  
"I think this answers your question, Chesa." Monday whispered.  
  
Chesa nodded slowly, her eyes transfixed. "I think you're right, Monday."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Mwahahahaha!! The power of a cliffhanger!! But here's a surprise for you all!! Since I'm a major dork with way too much time on my hands, there is now a T.A.R.K. Control website- a site for people to join a club where we battle T.A.R.K.!! There has been such a nice amout of support for T.A.R.K. that I've decided to make him a character in other stories. Therefore I need a place to put those adventures!! You can apply to be a member of T.A.R.K. Control and see what else is in store for him!!  
  
Check out the new site (just opened today!!) -- http://www.geocities.com/tarkcontrol/index.html 


	4. The newsies?...

Hi everyone! You wanted more T.A.R.K. you got more T.A.R.K.!! Just a reminder to visit the T.A.R.K. Control website – http://www.geocities.com/tarkcontrol/index.html  
  
  
  
It explains a lot about T.A.R.K. and I am currently accepting members, Woo Hoo!!  
  
Now, I want to thank the people who have given fb on any part of my li'l story:  
  
Monday  
  
Slash!  
  
Reeny  
  
Tunes  
  
Discord  
  
Tinker  
  
Quipster  
  
Prankster  
  
Patchess  
  
Princess  
  
Lucky  
  
Wish  
  
Loch  
  
Chesa  
  
Quirky  
  
Holiday  
  
Jibajabba  
  
Gemini  
  
Sab  
  
Iris  
  
Megs  
  
Satine  
  
Shimmer  
  
Moneybags  
  
Squibble  
  
Laces  
  
Pisky  
  
BlackRose  
  
Bon Bon  
  
Briar  
  
Dice  
  
Sugah  
  
And anyone else I may have forgotten… I still love you!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I think this answers your question, Chesa." Monday whispered.  
  
Chesa nodded slowly, her eyes transfixed. "I think you're right, Monday."  
  
Standing in front of the girls was the bunkroom they all knew. But that's not what freaked them out. Nope, not at all.  
  
It was the occupants of the newsies' bunkroom that caused the NMLer's all to gawk and gape and gasp and groan and that's about all the g-adjectives I know... Anywho,  
  
Instead of the thirty-some young, goodlooking newsboys that were supposed to be in the room, there were thirty-some freakish looking drag queens - or at least, they hoped they were drag queens, no girl alive could be that weird looking - sitting on the bunks, painting their toe nails and gossiping back and forth, oblivious to the girls standing - well two were standing, the rest were sprawled out on the floor -outside the doorway.  
  
"What -- what -- what??" Iris stammered in disbelief as the "girl" wearing a red bandana print skirt suddenly took notice of them, put down her "Santa Fe Sparkles" nail polish, and stood up to approach the girls.  
  
"Howdy, goils. Whatchu doin' down deah?" he/she/it asked as he/she/it started to help the girls up, one by one. "Antoinette, Michelle, Gabrielle, come heah an' help me help dese goils up." he/she/it called to the "girls" that were dead ringers for Race, Skittery and Spot. As he/she/it helped Stress to her feet, he/she/it introduced himself/herself/itself to all of the dumbstruck girls. "Me name is Jacquiline, but you'se can call me Jacqui- awl me pals do." she laughed coyly as Stress jumped back in obvious disbelief.  
  
"What did you do to my Jack?" she cried as she reached up to pull the hair of "Jacqui"'s head, eager to see if it was a wig. She stopped inches away from the hair, realizing that if it was a wig and it revealed that "Jacqui" was in fact Jack in drag, she would have nightmares for years to come. She slowly backed away as the other "girls" arose from their bunks to make friends with Stress and Co.  
  
The other girls were frightened and horrified as well. Tinker, Loch, Wish and Reeny all looked like they were about to cry as "Gabrielle" and "Michelle" rushed over to share all sorts of hair care tips. Moneybags eyes darted around in search of a wastebasket to throw up in as she watched her beloved Race, now "Antoinette", apply mascara to make his short lashes appear to be longer, in order to pick up a new guy down at the races. Discord crawled into a nearby corner, followed by Quirky, as they tried to block out the psychologically scarring image in front of them.  
  
Quipster, on the other hand, seemed to be basking in the havoc that was created when they had entered the supposed "Newsboys'" Lodging House. She walked over to the first girl she saw, a muscular looking broad with curly black hair, and introduced herself. "Hi, there! My name is Quipster, and you are?" she asked, trying not to laugh at how odd, yet attractive, Mush looked in a dress.  
  
"I'se Mush. Ain't I a beaut?" he/she/it replied as he/she/it fluffed her tight raven curls and began to sway her hips, in a most ridiculous manner, I may add.  
  
Quipster let out the laugh she was holding in. "Yup, that's definitely the real Mush in there. He's still as slow as molasses - I mean, he named his female alter ego 'Mush' too." she thought to herself before Squibble and Jibajabba pulled her away.  
  
"Quipster, what are you doing? You're not supposed to be enjoying this havoc!" cried Squibble, a cross look in her blue eyes.  
  
"Havoc? Why does that word sound so familiar?" Quipster questioned, trying to change the subject so that Jibajabba would stop staring at her as if she was the Giant Purple People Eater. That was Barney. Oh, come on, don't tell me you never noticed that on every episode of "Barney and Friends" there were different kids. And you seriously can only eat so much Peanut, Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches. But enough about that, back to our girls...  
  
"I remember!" cried Briar as she started to wave her arms in the air as if she was in school. "I really need to remember that I'm on summer vacation." she said to herself as she stopped waving her arms and began to ramble on to herself about the merits of summer vacation.  
  
Stress, overhearing Briar's rambling, quickly ducked an incoming question about the benefits of shaving versus waxing from "Jacqui", ran to Briar's side. "Woo Hoo, Briar. I love summer vacation. No more pencils, no more books..."  
  
Briar joined in. "No more teacher's dirty looks. Hehe, I can't believe it's summer already."  
  
Stress replied with just as much enthusiasm. "I know, it seems like it was just May and now it's June, cool." She continued going on along those lines with Briar adding her comments as the other twenty-nine NMLer's stood there with identical "What-is-with-these-two-girls?" expressions on their faces.  
  
Holiday and Princess grabbed Stress by the arms while Tunes and Lucky rushed forward and grabbed Briar. Holiday and Princess lifted Stress off the ground and carried her to the opposite side of the bunkroom while Tunes and Lucky turned Briar around so that she was facing the rest of the coherent members of the NML. Briar stopped her rambling once she realized that Stress wasn't there any more. "Where did she go?" she asked, a dazed and confused look in her dark eyes.  
  
Pisky shook her head. "You've spending too much time listening to Stress ramble on and on. You were beginning to do the same thing. It's a good thing that Tunes and Lucky saved you from a death worse than fate."  
  
Briar sighed with relief. "Does that mean that I'm normal now? That was weird, you get such a blissful emptiness floating through your head when you are just free to ramble on and on and on and on and-" she stopped abruptly when Frizz reached out and tapped her on the shoulder. "You're doing it again, Briar."  
  
"Thanks Frizz. Wow, that was a close one. Anyways --" Briar began but was cut off when Chesa through her hands up in the air.  
  
"Can you just tell us what you remembered already?? Jeez! This sure is suckville!" she cried before turning around to give Briar a great big hug.  
  
Briar looked startled and began to open her mouth to say something when Slash! shook her head. Briar shrugged and turned to face the rest of the girls. "Ummm... what were we talking about again?"  
  
While the rest of the girls just sighed, Prankster called out "You were going tell us what you remembered, remember? You just screamed 'I remember' about what you had remembered and now we all want to know what it is you remembered because none of us remember. But we won't know if we remember or not until you tell us what you remembered, if you even still remember it at all.. Understand?"  
  
Briar, along with all of the other NMLer's, nodded and said, "No. But that's O.K., I rem- what's that word again? Well, I didn't forget what I wanted to say this time. You see, Squibble said that this was all havoccy and stuff and I rem- didn't forget that that evil T.A.R.K. had said he was gonna wreak havoc. Do you think that is what this is?"  
  
Before any of the other girls could respond, they noticed that the bunkroom had gotten awful quiet and a wee bit (I still love that phrase, hehe!) drafty.  
  
Dice's head swiveled in a 360 degree turn as she saw that time had stopped and all of the drag queen newsie people had frozen mid-whatever they were doing at that moment. "Uh- guys? Whats's happening?"  
  
Sab wandered over to where "Mush" and "Blinkina" had been braiding each other's hair. "Wowzers, do they just look funny or what. Are we playing freeze tag? I'm great at freeze tag."  
  
Ignoring Sab's inane comments, the rest of the NMLer's slowly walked around the bunkroom, trying to figure out why the other "girls" were frozen. They weren't shocked or surprised or anything because they were beginning to get used to strange things happening to them. But they couldn't help being confused. Wouldn't you be? Time has just stopped for goodness sake!  
  
Megs and Feisty wandered away from the rest of the girls and walked over to the windows. "Oh my God, guys you gotta see this!" Megs cried as she pointed out the window.  
  
Megs screeches attracted the attention of everyone else and they all ran over to see what was outside. "What, what is it?" cried Braces, anxiously.  
  
Feisty piped up. "I don't quite know, but it looks like a tornado is approaching." she said as she pointed to the purple funnel cloud that was heading towards the lodging house.  
  
"That's not all, look! Time seems to have stopped outside too! What is going on?" Stress cried as she stamped her foot which resulted in the floor shaking.  
  
But once the floor started shaking, it didn't stop. "Earthquake!!" Patchess cried as she ducked under a bunk for cover, knocking the frozen "Gabrielle" over in her wake. The other girls quickly followed, Tinker and Slash! bumping heads and knocking each other out in the process.  
  
The shaking lasted for only a few seconds, stopping as abruptly as it started. "Oopsie..." whispered Stress as she crawled over the unconscious bodies of Tinker and Slash! to get to the window. "Aaahhhh!! The tornado is still coming to get us!! What are we going to do??"  
  
All of a sudden, lightning clapped and thunder flashed - strike that, reverse it - and the drag queens awoke. But they weren't drag queens anymore. They were --  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Now you have all Holiday to thank for this lovely cliffhanger. She so kindly dubbed me the "Queen of Cliffhangers" and I gotta live up to my name, right? Mwahahahahaha!! 


	5. The Red Tornado...

Yay!! I can finally update!! Woo Hoo!! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and I hope you continue to do so!! *MWAH*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*  
  
  
  
All of a sudden, lightning clapped and thunder flashed - strike that, reverse it - and the drag queens awoke. But they weren't drag queens anymore. They were --  
  
"JAAAACCKK!!! You're back to normal!" Stress cried, momentarily forgetting that a huge tornado was coming there way. Jack had that effect on her, and it wasn't always a good thing. She ran up to him and jumped him, knocking him over to the floor, landing on top of Tinker.  
  
The impact woke Tinker up. "What the heck? Ohhh," she said slyly as she noticed the position that Stress and Jack were in, "I see that you found your Jacky Boy, eh, Stress? Where's my Spot then?" She jumped up, knocking Jack and Stress onto their rear ends. "Owww..." Stress moaned as she rubbed her sore spot, the same sore spot that she had landed on since she was sucked through her computer. "Do I have a floor magnet in my back pocket or what?"  
  
Meanwhile Tinker had spotted (hehe, spotted) Spot. After being knocked over by Patchess, Spot lay on the floor, quite disorientated. One second he was in Brooklyn, then he was *gasp* a girl, and now he's Spot. Well, that wasn't a bad thing. Shaking his head, Spot went to stand up.  
  
"Spot!!" Tinker cried as she hopped, yes she finally hopped, on Spot. Spot fell back bewildered and landed on top of Slash!, waking her up this time.  
  
"Wha--wha--what happened?" she asked as she stood up and saw that all the newsies were awake and back to normal. Before she could have the chance to drag Specs and Dutchy off into a small room to force them to confess their undying love to one another, Feisty pointed out the window and screamed, "Hey, guys. What about the tornado, remember?"  
  
Stress got to her feet and ran to the window. The shock of seeing Jack in the flesh had driven the thought of the tornado out of her mind, but now she was anxious to see if Ms. Gulch would be flying by. Ms. Gulch or a cow, that would be cool. Cows made milk and boy was she thirsty. "Where's the cow? I want some milk." she announced as she pushed Megs to the side and leaned out the window, waiting for her cow to fly by.  
  
Prankster walked over to Stress and rapped her on the forehead. "Milk? Cow? What in blazes are you talking about, Stress?"  
  
"Blaze is here? I haven't seen her yet." Stress replied, her eyes fixed on the approaching purple tornado. A tornado that no one on the streets of New York was paying attention to. But then again, if they could ignore the newsies signing and dancing down the streets day in and day out, then surely they could ignore the giant, spiralling, oddly-colored tornado that was heading straight towards Duane Street.  
  
Squibble joined Stress at the window and shrieked when the purple tornado floated directly up to the window and stopped. Squibble turned, and after looking through the lodging house frantically, and jumped into the arms of an unsuspecting Davey. Davey fell back when she landed in his arms and promptly dropped her (out of surprise, of course.) As Squibble dusted herself off and pulled Davey into her lap, Quipster laughed her head off.  
  
The other girls tried to ignore the scene inside the bunkroom, but couldn't when Quipster's head rolled off her shoulder and mosied it's way across the dirty bunkroom floor. Jack stepped forward, picked up Quipster's head and handed it back to her. "Heah ya go, miss."  
  
Stress looked from the intimidating tornado at the window to the corner where Quipster, after sticking her head back onto her neck, was smiling coyly at Jack. "I don't think so, Jacky." she announced as she stalked over to Jack and pulled him back over to the window.  
  
Jack shrugged and waved as Quipster battered her eyelashes suggestively at Jack before turning to introduce herself to the nearest newsie in her sight -- Blink. "Hi there, one-eye. How are you?" she asked, nicely, ignoring the heated looks Sab and Patchess were giving her.  
  
For T.A.R.K. had given Quipster a great idea. Taken example from her new favorite red headed kid, she now had her own evil plan that she planned on putting into effect now that she had the impossible and travelled back to Manhattan, 1899. "Mwahahaha... All the newsies will be mine. And I guess I'll start with this one." she thought to herself as she began to flirt with Blink. "It's a pity my rolling-my-head-on-the-floor-to-get-a-newsie's- attention plan didn't work on your Jacky-Boy. But don't you fret, Stress. I will get Jack!" she laughed to herself evilly ignoring the puzzled look in Blink's eye.  
  
Meanwhile, Stress had pulled a pair of handcuffs out of her pocket and slipped it onto Jack's wrist. "There, now you have to stay by my side."  
  
Jack's eyes widened momentarily as Stress handcuffed herself to him, but shrugged directly after. "Dat's fine wit' me, I don't mind bein' attached ta such a beautiful goil like yourself." Jack said, using one of his most favorite pick-up lines on her, "My name is Jack, which I t'ink you'se awlready know. What's yours, doll face?"  
  
Stress began to giggle like a little girl at Jack's smooth words. "My name is Stress and these are all my friends. We're visiting here for awhile thanks to one of your friends. Did--"  
  
All of the girls, and most of the boys, except for Quipster, Blink, Jack, Stress, Sab and Patchess (they were staring at Quipster flirting with their man, Blink), were staring at Jack and Stress like they had two heads apeice. "Hello, did you forget about the life-threatening tornado out here?" Wish asked disbelievingly.  
  
"Oh, yeah. Forget 'bout dat." Stress shrugged as she dragged her new love slave -- er, Jack, to the window to face the giant red tornado. Wait a second-- wasn't the tornado purple just moments ago?  
  
"Hey guys, wasn't that tornado purple just moments ago?" Tunes asked, reading the author's mind. How'd she do that?  
  
"I don't know." Tunes responded. Stop doing that!  
  
"Alright, alright, I'll try." Tunes announced shrugging. Arrrrggghhh!!!  
  
Before anyone, neither a NMLer or a Newsie, could answer Tunes's observation, or ask why she was talking to the ceiling and covering her ears, the red tornado began to spin double - no triple - time until everyone's eyes were spinning before them. As they were all blinded, a figure appeared before them all. Though everything was blurred, the figure, floating right in mid-air in front of the window, was clear and able to be seen.  
  
"Oh, no. Not you again." Monday called out at the sight of the magical being.  
  
"Mwahahaha, how do you'se goils like me havoc so far?" T.A.R.K. asked, tilting his head back and laughing like a maniac.  
  
"You made our precious newsies into drag queens?" Moneybags roared, no longer feeling nauseous now that Race was a guy again. Well, I guess if he was just a drag queen then he was always a guy, but now he looked like a guy too. Did that make any sense to you? Me neither... Anywho,  
  
"Yup, dat was me idea an' I'se jist gettin' stahted." he cackled as he rubbed his hands together in an evil manner.  
  
"Froggy, what is you doin' out deah? Why is you floatin'?" Jack called, looking at the floating distribution center worker.  
  
"Froggy?!" the 31 NMLer's called in surprise. They thought Harly was joking when she called him Froggy.  
  
Race turned to face the stunned girls. "Yeah, what didja t'ink his name was?"  
  
"Hey, ovah heah? Da evil, annoyin', havoc-wreakin' kid, 'membah?" T.A.R.K. pouted, annoyed that all the girls and guys were now ignoring him. When he was sure that he had all of their attention again he continued laughing evilly. "Mwahahahaha!! Dat was fun, wasn''t it fellas? Or should I say goils? An' I gots a lot moah in stoah for you'se awl."  
  
"What do you have planned now?" Laces asked, a little nervous. Ok, a lot nervous.  
  
"Hmm...should I tell you'se awl... I don't know..." T.A.R.K. said, enjoying the torture he was putting them all through.  
  
"Please??" chorused Dice, Iris and Braces. They REALLY wanted to know what T.A.R.K. was going to do next.  
  
*FLASH*  
  
At the flash of a camera all the occupants in the bunkroom were able to see again, no longer blinded to their surroundings . Unfortunately, though, T.A.R.K. had disappeared with the flash. Fortunately, though, the tornado had also vanished. Unfortunately, though, the girls and guys now had no clue to what lay in store for them. Fortunately, though... Ok, I'm done with that.  
  
Everyone, once they got the scary mental image of T.A.R.K.'s face out of their heads, looked around to see who it was that got rid of T.A.R.K. Quirky whistled guiltily and put her hand behind her back as Jibajabba approached her. "Quirky, what do you have behind your back?"  
  
Quirky slowly brought her hand out in front of her and showed the group the digital camera that was in her hand. "I had this in my hand when I was sucked through my computer and I stuck it in my pocket. Now that we are here, I wanted to get some pictures of my Jake." she explained, pointing to the puzzled newsie with his black bowler hat on.  
  
"Umm-- what's a computer? And what is that? And what are you girls doing here?" Mush asked in quick succession. Everyone looked over at hm in surprise. This is the simple, sweet, strong but stupid (yay!! S adjectives in this part) Mush they had all come to know and love?  
  
"Uhh... I think I'll tell you later, k?" Pisky said as she rushed to his side and clutched his arm. Mush looked at Pisky and smiled, running his fingers through his curly hair. "Hi theah, sweetheart. Me name's Mush, an' you?"  
  
Pisky looked at Mush and giggled when she saw that Mush had gotten his fingers only about halfway through his hair when they had gotten stuck. "Pisky." she stammered between giggles.  
  
After watching Stress and Jack become bonded and Pisky and Mush introduce themselves, all of the other girls went to rush off and find their guy. Well, they tried. When the guys saw a whole herd of girls start to run and grab at them they all dove under their bunks for safety.  
  
"Girls, girls, calm down." Stress called raising the arm that wasn't handcuffed to Jack as Lucky ran right into Holiday, Loch and Discord collided, and Chesa, Reeny and Princess all tried to snatch at Skittery's pink underwears that were hanging over the side of his bunk. (Wait a sec, if he wasn't wearing his pink undies, what was he wearing underneath his clothes? Mmm, nice mental picture for all the Skitts fans out there.) "Let's do this civlized, k? On the count of three, calmly approach the guy of your choice and no switching. Remember, we already claimed the guys."  
  
"Whaddya mean, claimed us?" Jack whispered as all the girls walked calmly - OK, they couldn't walk calmly, they still ran, but there were no more collisions this time - over to find their newsies.  
  
"Don't you worry your cute little head about that, Jack." Stress said smiling warmly at her new prize. "Besides, we have other things to worry about."  
  
"Ya mean like what Froggy meant when he said dat deah was more havoc ta come?" Jack asked as he placed his cowboy hat onto his head.  
  
"Yuppers, that's exactly what I meant." Stress replied as she reached over, took Jack's hat of his head and placed it on her own. "Look at me, I'm a cowgirl!" she said with a smile. Whatever havoc T.A.R.K. was planning would be worth it now that she was there with Jack.  
  
And as she looked around the bunkroom at all the smiles on her fellow NMLer's, she knew they felt the same exact way.  
  
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More to come soon!! If you have any suggestions put them in the review and I'll try to use them!! 


	6. Sab, Patchess and Blink...

Here is where the story starts to get interesting!! One newsie per chapter, in alphabetical order.  
  
A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Tunes who gave me the idea for it. Woo Hoo Tunes. *tosses her a half-naked Skittery*  
  
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*****Blink, Sab and Patchess*****  
  
"Excuse me, Quipster, but I think he's with me." Patchess announced as she approached Blink and Quipster, with Sab trailing behind her practicing her ditz slap in case Quipster got fresh.  
  
Quipster clutched Blink with her right hand and faced the two girls. "I don't think so." she said with a smile as she began to massage his shoulder.  
  
Patchess made to snatch Blink out of Quipster's clutches but stopped when a light bulb appeared over Sab's head. "Ummm, Sab? Do you have an idea?"  
  
"Uh- what? Oh yeah, sure." Sab cried as she suddenly ran to where Stress, who was still handcuffed to Jack, was trying to convince Jack to marry her. "C'mon, Jack, I'd be the perfect w-- Sab, what's wrong? Umm-- Do you now there's a light bulb floating over your head?" Stress asked, ignoring Jack for the moment, giving him the perfect opportunity to pick the locks of the handcuffs.  
  
Sab reached up and snatched the floating lightbulb and shoved it in her pocket before saying anything, "Stress, you're our leader right now, right?"  
  
Stress nodded as she slapped Jack's hand as he tried to pick the lock. "Yup, one second. Jack stop that. If it's too tight, I'll loosen it but just wait, k?" she said gently before facing Sabs again. "Anything I can do for you?"  
  
Sab pointed over to the corner where Quipster and Patchess were playing tug of war with Blink's body as the rope. "Quipster is trying to steal the newsie that me and Sab claimed. You're the leader, tell her to stop."  
  
Stress rolled her eyes and began to walk over to the corner. "Quipster, you know that Blink belongs to Sab and Patchess. What are you doing?"  
  
Quipster let go of Blink and watched as he went flying, knocking Tunes, Princess, Skittery and Wish over in the process. "Awww, Stress. I was just having some fun." she cooed as she walked over to Blink and helped him up. Before Sab, Patchess, Stress, Jack or Blink could say a word, Quipster leaned over and kissed Blink. "One down..." she thought to herself as she walked away from the group, looking for her next victim. "Ahh... Bumlets..."  
  
As Sab and Patchess ran over to the now-embarassed-but-none-the-less- pleased Blink, Jack looked over at Stress, trying to divert her attention from their wrists so he could try to get out of the handcuffs again. "So, I'm claimed by you and Blink's claimed by those two?" he asked as he jerked his thumb towards Sab and Patchess.  
  
Stress nodded as she began to lead him back to a secluded corner so she could resume their wedding plans. "Yup, good idea, huh?"  
  
Jack tried to reach over and snatch his hat back since it was useless to try to escape. "You guys gots good ideas too?"  
  
Meanwhile Blink was being dragged out of the lodging house by Sab and Patchess. "We got to get you as far away from that girl as possible." Patchess announced as she tossed her long blonde hair over one of her tan shoulders.  
  
Blink shrugged his shoulders and, his well-known grin coming back to his face now that he was safe from Quipster, introduced himself to the two girls. "Hiya goils, me name is Kid Blink, but you'se can cawl me Blink."  
  
"We know!" squealed Sab, her blue eyes shining with excitement to be talking to Blink. "I'm Sab and this is Patchess. We're going to be with you forever and ever and ever and ever--"  
  
Patchess cut Sab off when Blink's grin began to look shakey. "So, Blink, what do you want to do? Any place you want to show us?"  
  
Before Blink could answer, there was a streak of red lightning flashing throughout the sky. "Umm-- dat ain't normal." he noted, rubbing the blue eye that wasn't covered with his brown patch.  
  
"No, no it's not." agreed Sab as Patchess just rolled her eyes at the two. "If it wasn't for the fact that he's sooooo hott..." she mumbled as she repeated her questions to Blink. "What do you guys want to do?"  
  
"Let's go to da harbah." Blink said before covering his mouth with his hand. "I didn't say that."  
  
Sab stopped walking for a second, looking puzzled. "Yes, you did."  
  
"I know I did, but it's like da woids jist came out by demselves. I was gonna suggest Tibby's but da woids 'da harbah' came out 'stead." Blink replied, continuing to walk in the direction of the Harbor.  
  
Sab and Patchess looked at each other and shrugged. "We can go to Tibby's later. I want to see all the fishies in the water." Sab grinned as she followed Blink, with Patchess running to catch up with Blink's stride.  
  
The three made their way to the Harbor in silence, just glad that there was no more freakish red lightning in the sky. I mean, if it wasn't raining or anything, why would there be lightning? And, red? What's up with that? I don't know, guess we are gonna hafta read on...  
  
"Wow, I just got the strangest chill-- Oh my God, what is that?" Patchess cried as she grabbed onto Blink's arm and pointed out at a ship that was docking in the harbor.  
  
But it wasn't just any ordinary ship. It was a pirate ship complete with a black flag adorned with a menacing skull and crossbones.  
  
As Sab, Patchess and Blink gawked in amazement at the ship, three flashes of the ominous red lightning lit up the cloudless sky and T.A.R.K. appeared. "Mwahahaha, let da havoc begin." he announced as he conjoured up a cloud and sat to watch the spectacle before him.  
  
"Havoc, what does he mean, havoc?" Sab cried as she began to run around in circles in panic. Blink looked at the two girls and smiled. "Froggy, me pal. Ya wouldn't do nuttin' ta one o' your own, eh?"  
  
T.A.R.K. laughed as he watched Patchess smack Blink in his belly. "No, I t'ink I will. Enjoy, Blinky Boy! Mwahahahaha!!" he laughed evilly as he used his magical abilities to make the pirate ship appear right at the harbor's docks.  
  
Blink rubbed his belly and shrugged apologetically at Patchess and Sab. "I tried. Any o' you'se goils got a good idea?"  
  
Sab nodded, then shook her head, then did three back handsprings before answering. "What do we look like, Cowboy?"  
  
Patchess opened her mouth to add her two cents when she suddenly gasped and pointed at the people who were exiting the pirate ship. It was cotton candy colored cuckoo birds - no, wait, that was ship next to the pirate ship - they were PIRATES!! AHHHH!!  
  
The biggest baddest pirate, complete with eye patch, peg leg and stuffed parrot on his shoulder, pointed at Blink and said, "Arrrggh! Avast ye maties, there is One-Eyed Pete. Get 'im."  
  
The other pirates all drew their cutlasses and charged at Blink, who, at the first sight at the pirates, had jumped behind Sab and Patchess for cover. Patchess through out her hands and yelled, "Wait a second, this isn't One-Eyed Pete or who ever the heck you are looking for. This is Kid Blink, a regular newsboy here in New York."  
  
"Step aside, missy. Dis here is Pete, is I ever seen 'im. Petey, here, abandoned ship wit' me terasure map an' I want it back!" The pirate cried, raising his sword over his head.  
  
As Sab and Blink cowered under the pirate's rage, Patchess stood up for them. "But this isn't Pete! Tell him, Blink."  
  
Blink looked up at the pirate, shivered at the sight of the sword, and fainted. Sab watched Blink fall, laughed when he hit the ground with a heavy thud, and ran to the docks. After she cupped some of the water in her hand, she ran back to splash Blink and wake him up. Unfortunately, by the time she ran back to his side all of the water had spilled from her hands. "This'll have to make do." she shrugged as she bent over and kicked Blink in the head (gently though, she didn't want to hurt her Blink.)  
  
Blink's eyes sprung open once he felt the heel of Sab's shoe make contact with his head. "Wheah am I? Oh, goils, you'll nevah believe da dream I jist had. I dreamt dat dis big ol' pirate kept cawlin' me Pete an' wavin' a swod at us." Blink chuckled as he rubbed his head. When he saw that Sab and Patchess were not laughing along with him, Blink looked over his shoulder where the pirate stood waving at him. "Ya ready ta give me da map, Petey?"  
  
"For da last time, I ain't Petey!" he yelled, getting quite frustrated at the name Pete. If he was a pirate, he would have picked a cool name, but Pete? Naw...  
  
"Well, I tried to be civil, landlubber, but it didn't work-- What are you laughing at, Sea Dog?" The big pirate turned to yell at one of the smaller ones.  
  
The smaller one, the one called Sea Dog, just kept laughing until his gut was busted. "It's just that, we are pirates, Cap'n. Pirates ain't supposed to be civil."  
  
The Captain stroked his long black beard as he pondered Sea Dog's words. "Hmm... I suppose you're right, Sea Dog. Then I guess it'll be great fun to slit this young'n's neck, eh, boys?"  
  
Sab jumped forward. "You can't hurt my Blink."  
  
The Captain looked surprise at the gall the girl had. Imagine, a little girl going up against him, the Captain. "An' what do you propose to do about it, girly?"  
  
"I'll-- I'll-- I'll... Hmm. I don't right know. Let me think about this." Sab started to pace back and forth, twirling her long brown hair as she did so. "I know!" Sab reached in her pocket where she had stowed the lightbulb from her earlier brainstorm. Because she had just had another idea, the lightbulb had begun to grow. It was used to never working, considering that Sab is a ditz and never had ideas that required a lightbulb. Now, though, she had had TWO ideas in one day!!  
  
The Captain, Sea Dog, and all the rest of the pirates laughed at the light bulb that Sab was brandishing as Blink and Patchess began to make plans on how to escape while Sab was occupying the pirates. "I've got a lightbulb and I'm not afraid to use it." she threatened.  
  
When the pirates continued walking towards Blink, and Blink began to pray to Heaven above, Sab acted. With all the strength she could muster Sab smashed the gigantic lightbulb at the Captain's feet. With glass and light flying everywhere, the Pirates took a few steps back, and froze.  
  
Wait, they froze?  
  
Yes they froze. "Mwahahaha... Havin' fun, kiddie's? Hey, goils. Didn't you'se evah wondah weah Blink got his patch? I guess dat salty ol' sea captain took it when Petey stahted actin' up. I'll be back! 'Til den, enjoy da havoc!!" With another three flashes of red lightning T.A.R.K. disappeared, leaving Blink to explain himself to two not very happy NMLer's.  
  
"Pete?" Sab and Patchess asked in unison.  
  
"For da last time, me name ain't Pete!!" he cried as he shook a fist at the cloud where T.A.R.K. had witnessed the entire scene. "Damn you, Froggy!"  
  
  
  
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There's that!! Woo Hoo!! The next newsie up at bat is Bumlets. If you have any idea for a havoc involving Bunlets LMK, k? Thanks! 


	7. Holiday and Bumlets...

I would just like to say at this time that I do not own "The Princess Bride" or "Johnny Bravo". Thank you.  
  
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*****Holiday and Bumlets*****  
  
As Bumlets stood watching the "Blink's-body-tug-of-war" that was taking place right in front of him, Holiday stood right next to him, fiddling with the gold cross necklace that hung around her neck. "Sooo..." she began, trying to draw his attention from the spot where Quipster and Patchess were arguing over Blink.  
  
Bumlets snapped to attention and grinned sheepishly at Holiday. "Sooo..." he mimicked as he ran a hand through his thick black hair.  
  
Unable to contain her happiness at being in Bumlet's presence, Holiday let out a squeal. "Ohmigosh!" she said before regaining the calm composure she had the second before.  
  
Bumlets looked taken aback for a moment, but smiled as he used his finger to clear his ear. "Teenyboppah moment, eh?"  
  
Holiday looked surprised. "You guys know what teenyboppers are?"  
  
Bumlets nodded. "Shoah. What do ya 'spect? O' coise deah's gonna be teenyboppahs when awl o' da newsies in New Yawk are as goodlookin' as we are." Upon the completion of his sentence Bumlets drew a small hand mirror from his back pocket and gave his reflection a kiss. "Man, I'se perdy!" he whispered to himself with a Johnny Bravo like smirk. Holiday nearly expected him to whip out a pair of black shades!  
  
Taking her mind out of the Cartoon Network, Holiday looked at Bumlets with a shocked expression. "A vain Bumlets?" she mumbled, trying to come up with a clever remark to break the awkward moment. Luckily, at the very moment that Holiday opened her mouth to speak, Sab ran by them with the handcuffed Jack and Stress following close behind. Figuring that it would be better to drop the subject and watch the entertainment before her, Holiday closed her mouth and watched as Stress tried to appease Sab, Patchess and Quipster.  
  
Holiday let out a silent giggle as she watched Quipster let go of her hold on Blink and send Blink barrelling into Tunes, Wish, Princess and Skittery, scattering them all over the bunkroom floor. After she witnessed Quipster lean over and kiss Blink, ignoring the murderous glares from Sab and Patchess, Holiday walked over to talk to Stress and Jack. Well, what she really wanted to do was to threaten Stress with her backpack again but since her "not-all-there" friend was currently handcuffed to the poor newsie, Holiday addressed Jack as well. "Hiya Stress, Jack."  
  
"Hiya Holiday!" Stress chirped, waving the hand that wasn't attached to her beloved. Holiday rolled her eyes and glanced over at Jack. She couldn't help but laugh when she saw the panicked expression on Jack's face and his lips mouth the words "Help me!" as he jerked his head slightly at their adjoined wrists.  
  
"Having fun, Cowboy?" she remarked sarcastically as she removed her backpack from her back and placed it at her feet, directly in Stress' line of vision.  
  
Stress, who was about to launch into some of her well-known inane rambling, you know like all the times when she goes on and on and on about weird things and no one knows what the hell she's talking about? How she can babble and drone on until even the most interesting subject can seem as dull as seltzer water. Well, seltzer water is pretty cool if you think about it. It's water, but it's all bubbly, just like soda. And it can be different flavors but it's always clear. Did you ever stop to think how they do that, huh? Wait, where are you going? I promise, I'll be good. No more straying, ok? Good, now back to the story...  
  
Anywho, Stress, who didn't get to start her rambling, stopped what she was doing once she saw Holiday's backpack come into focus. "You never know when a Snipeshooter may pop out of a backpack." Stress thought with a shudder as she clutched Jack's thigh with her hand. Unfortunately, or I should probably say fortunately, she grabbed for Jack's leg at the exact moment that Jack turned his body to comb the bunkroom for someone who would be able to break the handcuffs for him. Because of Jack's abrupt turn, instead of grabbing a fistful of his leg, Stress grabbed something else.  
  
"Whoa!" cried Jack out loud as Stress turned bright red. Keeping her hand there for a second more, Stress pulled her white tank top over her head to hide. As Holiday doubled over in laughter, using one hand to lean against her backpack to give her support so she didn't fall over, Jack used his free hand to pull Stress' shirt down from her head. "I don't t'ink I'se gonna mind bein' handcuffed ta you'se at awl." he smirked as Stress' blush deepened. With one last grin, Jack began to drag Stress over to their secluded corner, the corner where they were sitting before Sab had interrupted their - OK, Stress' - plans for their wedding.  
  
Holiday, who had had her back to Bumlets the entire time, continued to laugh at Jack, a sex-crazed look on his face, and Stress, who for the first time in her life, was speechless. As she was being dragged away, Stress finally mustered up the ability to say something. "Hey, Holiday. Weren't you the one who claimed Bumlets?" she called to Holiday, and waited until Holiday stopped laughing and nodded. "Thought so."  
  
Holiday heard Stress' last words before she was dragged into the dark corner of the bunkroom, and decided to go back to being Bumlets' side magnet. Unfortunately when Holiday turned around, Bumlets was no longer kissing his reflection in the mirror-- He was kissing Quipster!  
  
"Hey, Quipster. What are you doing?" Holiday said at once, her hazel-grey eyes flashing in annoyance.  
  
Quipster pulled away from Bumlets, an amused look crossing her face. "Nothing at all, Holiday. I know Bumlets is your's." she smiled a charming smile as she looked around the room for her next victim. "Jack...maybe I'll try again..." she thought to herself as she strolled over to the secluded corner where Stress was feverishly searching her pockets for the handcuff keys. Quipster chuckled to herself as she made out Stress' shriek of "No, Jack, wait a sec. I gotta find those keys", followed by Jack's laugh.  
  
Ignoring Quipster as she made her way across the bunkroom, Holiday rounded on Bumlets. "What were you doing there, buddy?"  
  
"Bumlets." he said, assuming that Holiday didn't know his name.  
  
Holiday scowled. "I know that your name is Bumlets. I've only been in love with you for how long?"  
  
Bumlets perked up at her words. "Ya love me? What part o' me do you'se love?"  
  
Holiday ticked off some of the million reasons why she was particularly fond of Bumlets. "Well, you seem to be really sweet and caring, and damn, you are fine."  
  
Looping one of his arms through Holiday's while using his other hand to carry his walking stick, Bumlets led Holiday out of the lodging house. "Really, tell me moah 'bout meself."  
  
Holiday hoisted her backpack on her back and shrugged. She talked about Bumlet's favorite topic, himself, the entire way to Central Park. After showing Holiday some of the landmarks from the movie - the distribution center, newsies square and Tibby's - Bumlets sat down on a bench and pulled Holiday onto his lap. "Y'know what Holly? I t'ink I'se fallin' in love wit' you'se. Not only are you'se an perdy as me, ya know awl 'bout me favorite subject."  
  
Holiday blushed slightly and bent her head to give Bumlets a kiss. Once their lips met and their arms entwined themselved, both of them were too preoccupied to notice the mini red tornado that made it's way through all of the trees, pausing overhead.  
  
"Awww, what have we got heah?" a voice interrupted, causing both Holiday and Bumlets to jump apart and fall off the bench.  
  
Bumlets and Holiday tilted their heads up to the sky and were surprised to find T.A.R.K. sitting atop one of the taller trees in the park. Grasping her backpack for moral support, Holiday looked up at T.A.R.K. "What do you want? We were busy if you didn't notice."  
  
T.A.R.K. opened his mouth wide and laughed an evil, evil laugh. "Mwahahahaha!! I did notice, Holiday. Dat's why I picked da two o' you'se ta wreak havoc on next!"  
  
"Yeah right. What's a little, unknown, nameless newsie like you gonna do about that? Oh wait, I forgot. You're not cool enough to be a newsie, you little, unknown, nameless distribution center worker!" screeched Holiday, forgetting for the moment that this was the ever-mighty, immortal and powerful T.A.R.K. that stood, er- perched, in front of her.  
  
"Holly, I don't t'ink dat dat was da smahtest t'ing ta do." whispered Bumlets, gripping his walking stick firmly in his right hand.  
  
"Shhh, Bumlets. I know what I'm doing." Holiday whispered, still staring down an unimpressed T.A.R.K..  
  
"I t'ink not, goily." T.A.R.K. said before clapping his hands thirteen times in a row. One, two, three, four, five, six, six, no wait, that was seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve and, finally, thirteen.  
  
After the thirteenth clap T.A.R.K. did a double take and laughed two short laughs, ha...ha..., before vanishing into thin air. As Holiday and Bumlets looked around in surprise at T.A.R.K.'s disappearing trick, they both jumped and grabbed onto each other when they hear T.A.R.K.'s disembodied voice echo, "So many havocs ta wreak an' so li'l time... No, wait, I'se da evah-might, immortal an' powahful T.A.R.K... I got awl da time in da woild, Mwahahaha!!"  
  
"That was odd." remarked Holiday, still wrapped in Bumlets' arms, snuggling against his chest. When Bumlets didn't respond and his entire body went tense, Holiday looked up. "Is something wrong, Bumlets?"  
  
When all Bumlets could do was lift his hand and point his walking stick at something over her shoulder, Holiday knew something was up. Breaking herself loose from Bumlets' hold, Holiday turned around and saw a man with long dark hair, medieval style clothes, and matching facial scars, one on each cheek, carrying a sword approaching them.  
  
Holiday jumped back in surprise when the man kept walking towards her and Bumlets. She jumped even higher when she realized that Bumlets had ran and ducked behind her, obviously using her as a shield between himself and the man. "Bumlets..." she warned as he sighed and stood in front of her. "Thanks, Bum... you know, we need to get you a nickname, Bumlets. I don't think that Bum works, do you?"  
  
"Holly, shhh!! In case you'se forgot, deah is a sword wit' our names on it headin' dis way." he hissed.  
  
"Oh, right."  
  
All of a sudden the man stopped about ten feet from Bumlets and Holiday. Clutching his menacing sword in his left hand, and throwing out his right hand in front of him, he spoke. "Hello. My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." The man, Indigo, lifted his left hand and prepared to lunge.  
  
Bumlets dropped his walking stick when he threw up his hands in surrender. "I'se sorry mistah but I didn't kill no one."  
  
Indigo dropped his sword by his side and took two steps forward. "I don't think you heard me, but I said 'Hello. My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.'" He lifted his sword again and swung loosely at Bumlets, his aim and precision being a little off due to the level of his intoxication.  
  
Bumlets jumped to the side, narrowly missing the sword's blade. When the drunkard went to gather his balance in order to strike again, Bumlets stooped down and picked up his walking stick. That way, once Indigo was prepared to swing again, Bumlets had something to fence back with. And fence they did. Luckily, Bumlet's walking stick was really a wooden stick with a metal rod at the core which resulted in resisting all of Indigo's blows. Ya see, before Bumlets was a newsie, he was an acrobat/tight-rope walker in a nearby circus. When the circus left town, inadvertently leaving Bumlets behind, all he had was his balance stick and his hand mirror. "T'ank Gawd for dis stick." he panted as he fenced with Indigo. Usually he was happier that they left him with his mirror!  
  
Holiday stood by the side, trying to remember where she had seen that man before. And the whole "Hello. My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." schpiel was sooooooooo familiar. But from where?  
  
"You fence well, but you are certainly no man in black. And besides, there is something I know that you don't." Indigo slurred, nicking Bumlets in the wrist as they continued to fight.  
  
"An' what's dat?" Bumlets responded, ignoring the pain searing through his hand.  
  
Indigo smiled and switched the sword from his left hand to his right. "I am not left handed."  
  
  
  
"Aww...damn." Bumlets cursed as the man before him knocked his walking stick clean out of his hand.  
  
Indigo walked forward and raised his sword over Bumlets' head. "Hello. My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed--" he started and made a face when Bumlets cut him off. "I know who you'se are, an' I'll tell you'se 'gain dat I ain't killed no one."  
  
Indigo shrugged and started his speech over. It wouldn't be quite the same if he didn't deliver his speech directly before he killed the son-of-a- bitch who killed his father. "Hello. My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."  
  
"Wait!" Holiday cried, jumping in front of Bumlets. She drew in a sharp breath and exhaled once she saw Indigo's sword stop inches from her heart. "Phew..."  
  
"Excuse me miss, but I was just about to kill this son-of-a-bitch who murdered my father twenty years ago." Indigo announced, trying to swerve around Holiday.  
  
"Wait! I can prove that Bumlets didn't do it! Listen, you said yourself that your father was killed twenty years ago. Does he even look twenty years old to you?" Holiday asked pointing up at Bumlet's young-looking face.  
  
"Nooo..." drawled Indigo as he brought his hand to the side.  
  
"Well, how about this... uh..." Holiday murmured, stalling for time. Where had she seen him before? Then, all of a sudden, a lightbulb appeared over Holiday's head. "I know!"  
  
Just like Sab had done, Holiday snatched the lightbulb out of the air and shoved it in her pocket for future use. She was too preoccupied with her relevation to wonder why a lightbulb magically appeared overhead. But then again, after being sucked through a computer and witnessing red tornadoes popping up all over in Manhattan, why would a little thing like a lightbulb make anyone stop and think. Anywho,  
  
"That can't be the man who killed your father, look!" Holiday reached down and grabbed Bumlets' right hand. "Look, only five fingers!"  
  
Indigo kept his sword at his side and approached Holiday and Bumlets. Taking Bumlets' hand from Holiday, Indigo counted the fingers on his hand. "One, two, three, four, five... You're right. The man who killed my father had six fingers on his right hand."  
  
Holiday crossed her arms over her chest and nodded. "Told you so."  
  
Picking up his sword, Indigo turned to leave. "Sorry to trouble you two then. My mistake."  
  
Bumlets opened his mouth to say something but stopped when Holiday laid her hand on his cut wrist. "Not right now, Bumlets." she whispered out of the corner of her mouth.  
  
Once Indigo was out of earshot, Holiday turned to look at Bumlets, questions in her eyes. "I didn't want to ask you while he was here, but did you kill his father?"  
  
"No!" Bumlets yelped. What kind of person did he look like? Just because he was good looking didn't mean he was a murderer! Looking at Holiday with hurt in his eyes, Bumlets resisted the urge to draw his hand mirror out and comfort himself.  
  
"Just kidding, Bum... We really do need to come up with a nickname for you." Holiday announced, already thinking of nicknames for her man-- Most of which included Mr. Holiday in some context.  
  
Ignoring Holiday's dazed expression, Bumlets turned and looked over into the woods and sought out Indigo's retreating figure. "Do you'se t'ink we should warn da uddahs?"  
  
"Warn the others about what?" Holiday asked, Bumlets' question bringing her back down to earth.  
  
"Y'know, da havoc dat Froggy is doin'?"  
  
Holiday looked at her watch. It was still early and she wanted to spend as much time with Bumlets as possible. "Don't worry about them. I know those girls and they can surely handle themselves."  
  
"If ya say so, Holly." Bumlets said as he shrugged his shoulders and followed Holiday out of the Park. "By da by, how did you'se know dat da man who killed his faddah had six fingahs?"  
  
"I know everything." Holiday replied as she wiggled her eyebrows. Bumlets need not know that the "Princess Bride" was one of her favorite movies.  
  
Bumlets just shook his head and continued to walk with Holiday, the two of them ignoring the red wave of light shimmering in the lower branches of the third tree on the outside skirts of the park.  
  
But the red wave of light shimmering in the lower branches of the third tree on the outside skirts of the park did not ignore them.  
  
"Yeah, Holly, if ya say so...Mwahahahaha..." called the disembodied voice once more, from his lookout in a nearbu tree, before T.A.R.K. transformed into a red tornado and spiralled off to spy on those newsies still lounging in the lodging house in order to pick his next victims.  
  
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Well, that's the end of this chappy. Any suggestions for the any of the other Newsies? They would be majorly appreciated. : ) 


	8. David, Squibble, Itey, Prankster, Stress...

**Author's Note:  I know it's been like forever and a day since I posted more of this story, but I had like _zero_ ideas for it.  I would appreciate all feedback, comments and ideas.  Thanks and I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:  I don't own Harry Potter, and this idea is taken right from "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone".  I also don't own Cowboy Woody, he, too, belongs to Disney.**

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*******David, Squibble, Prankster, Itey, Jack & Stress*******

"Jack!!" yelled David as he began to run around the lodging house.

Jack crawled out of the corner where he was uhm, talking, yeah, just talking, to Stress.  "What Davey?  I'se a li'l busy at da moment."

Stress crawled out after him, straightening her disheveled shirt as she did so.  "Jack, I need a breather.  I think its O.K. to see what David wants."  Stress paused for a moment and grinned when she saw a redheaded blur run after Davey.

"Was dat Froggy?" Jack mumbled to Stress, as he smoothed his hair and stood up.

Stress laughed.  "No, that's Squibble."

"Davey, Davey, Davey!!" Squibble shouted as she ran after the frightened lad.

"Help!!" wailed Davey as he continued to run.  "Helll--"The words were cut off when Davey ran smack dab into a wall and knocked himself unconscious.  Squibble ran to Davey's unconscious body and sat down on him.  "My Davey," she cried possessively.

Jack looked at Stress and shrugged his shoulders.  "Let's go save me pal."  Considering the two of them were still handcuffed together, Stress really had no choice in the matter.

"'Scuse me, Davey-lover--"

"Davey's Darlin'." Squibble interrupted while beginning to unbutton Davey's faithful blue shirt.

"What?" asked Jack, looking to Stress for help.  She may not have been the sanest of the bunch but Jack felt that he could trust her, seeing that she did obsess about him so much.

"Squibble said ' Davey's Darlin' '.  That's what she goes by on the list." Stress explained as she watched Squibble remove Davey's arm from his right sleeve.

"What list? -- Holy moley, why is Davey shirtless?" Jack yelled, drawing the attention of Dutchy and Monday who were talking on the bunk right next to the crew.

Squibble looked over at Stress and winked.  "I finally got me my shirtless Davey, eh Stress?"

When Stress began to laugh at the completion of one of Squibble's goals, Davey stirred.  "What the he-- I'm naked!" he yelled as he jumped up, knocking Squibble to the floor.

Squibble fell to the floor and bounced back to her feet.  "No, no, no Davey.  You're just shirtless Davey.  I haven't had a chance to meet F.N.D. yet." Squibble smiled to herself as images of F.N.D. ran before her mind.

"F.N.D., what's F.N.D.?" asked both Jack and Davey in unison.

Stress smiled evilly and motioned for both Jack and Davey to lean in.  "F.N.D. stands for Frontal Nudity Davey." she whispered before dissolving into peals of laughter.

Meanwhile, T.A.R.K. floated outside the window as he watched the scene in front of him.  "It looks like two o' dose goils from da futchah are wreakin' enough havoc fer me.  Should I even boddah wit' dem?" T.A.R.K. scratched his freckled nose for a moment as he pretended to debate himself,  "Yeah!"  He clapped his hands hands three times and disappeared.

Upon hearing that Squibble would be trying to pants him next, Davey turned to leave the lodging house.  "I think I'm gonna go now..." Davey ran down the stairs, with Squibble in hot pursuit.

Jack turned to look at Stress and winked.  "How wouldja like ta meet F.N.J., Stress?"

"Davey, Squibble, I'm coming with you guys!" called Stress as she, too, ran down the lodging house stairs, dragging Jack behind her.  "Wait for meeeeeeeeeee!!" she yelled as she fell down a large hole that had appeared in the lobby of the Manhattan Newsboys' Lodging House.

_Plop.  "Ew, what is that stink?" called Stress as she landed on a very __bony something._

The only response she got was for the bony something to wriggle frantically underneath her.   "What the-- Squibble!" she cried as felt herself being thrown from the ground.

"Yes, yes, it's me.  Now do you mind?  Davey, where did you go?" Squibble began to dig frantically in the pile of rubbish that she was sitting in, looking for her beloved.  "Davey?"

"No, I'm not Davey!"  A girl's head popped out of the garbage and smiled at Squibble.

"Prankster, is that you?"

"Yeah, and Itey's down here too."  Prankster began to climb out of the pile and dig alongside Squibble, looking for her "friend", Itey.

"Ahhh!!" came a new voice, followed by a thud and another scream.  "Jack, get off of me!" Stress yelled as she shoved Jack out of her lap, where he had landed after jumping down the large hole.  "And what took you so long?  Aren't we--" Stress stopped when she noticed that she was no longer handcuffed to Jack.  "Woo, Hoo.  I'm free!" she yelled, forgetting that _she was the one who had handcuffed Jack to her in the first place._

"Wheah are we?" he asked, ignoring her comment, before pinching his nose shut.  "Damn, what is dat smell?"

Stress grinned triumphantly.  "See, I told you something smelled bad."

"Be careful," called a voice from under the large pile of garbage that they had all landed in.

"Itey, is that you?" Prankster asked as she dug deeper in the trash but came no closer to finding the origin of his voice.

"Yeah, Prankstah.  It's me.  I'se down heah, undah da magic garbage wit' Davey."

"Davey's with you, Itey?" Squibble questioned.  "I want to see my Davey."

"No, Itey.  That girl scares me." Davey whimpered, deep beneath the garbage.

"Davey, grow up an' be a real man, like me." called Jack as he winked at the three girls.

Stress rolled her eyes at Jack's newfound self-image of a ladies' man.  "Itey, how do we get down there?  It's getting too crowded up here with Jack's inflated ego."

Jack blew her a kiss.  "Y'know ya want me, babe."

"I do, that's the bad thing." Stress answered before looking downwards.  "Itey??"

"Lissen up goils--"

"An' Jack." Jack interrupted as shot the girls a winning grin.

"Like I said, _goils, in ordah fer you'se ta get outta da magic garbage ya gotta roll around in it for a few minutes wit' out stoppin'." Itey continued._

"No way, Jose.  There is no way that I'm going to roll around in no "magic" garbage." Prankster announced, ignoring the fact that she had already been under a large pile of the same garbage.

"Foist o' awl, Prankstah, da name ain't Jose, it's Itey.  Second o' awl, if you'se goils don't get ta rollin' an' quick, dat magic garbage may toin yer skin polka-dotted.  Orange an' brown colahed polka-dots, no less."

"What?!" shrieked Prankster, Squibble and Stress in one voice as they quickly began to toss and turn in the smelly "magic" garbage.  Jack, not one to be left out, soon joined in and, in no time, the four of them had rolled right through the garbage and landed on a nice patch of dirt.

"That was creepy." Stress acknowledge as she looked around.  They were no longer in a pile of garbage; now they were in the sewers!  

"Did 1899 New York have sewers?" Prankster wondered out loud as she joined Stress in looking around.

Squibble ignored the two other girls and jumped on top of David.  "I got my Davey again." she shouted gleefully.

Meanwhile David cringed and Jack watched the two of them jealously before strutting over to Stress' side.  "I guess it's jist me an' you'se 'gain."

Stress stopped looking at the underground sewers and ran to Prankster and Itey for help.  "Hey Prankster, want to switch?"

Prankster winked at Stress.  "No, I think I'm going to stick with Itey.  Besides, I know how much you like your Cowboy."  Prankster laughed when she saw Jack grab Stress and walk away with her, before turning to face Itey.  "You seem to know so much about what's going on, Itey.  What do we do now?"

"Well, if ya look closely at da walls o' dis sewah, ya kin see arrows.  I suggest dat we follow dem an' see wheah dey lead."

"Sounds like a plan." Prankster said as she leaned over and pulled Squibble off of Davey.  "Later, Squibble."

Squibble pouted but followed Prankster, Itey, Jack, Stress and the now relieved Davey, out of the sewer.

The six of them walked on for a bit, making small chit-chat as they went along.  But all conservations ceased when Prankster pointed to a door at the end of the tunnel.  "Look, it's a door at the end of the tunnel!" she yelled as she rushed forward and opened the door.

"What is it, Prankstah?" Itey questioned as he followed her inside.  His question was answered at once -- It was a giant checkerboard!

"Let me guess, T.A.R.K., you must have read the first Harry Potter book!" Stress yelled to the ceiling once she laid eyes on the checkerboard.

Jack and Itey looked at her with scared expressions on their faces.  "Is she O.K.?" Jack asked, a little worried since he wasn't used to strange girls screaming at the ceiling.  "Who is dis Harry Pottah, anyway?"

Squibble and Prankster laughed to each other.  "Don't worry, she's fine.  What she means is that we have to play checkers across this giant checkerboard to continue on our way.  Look," Squibble said as she pointed at the other end of the board, "there's a door at the other end of the checkerboard.  I think our way out of the sewer is through that door over there."

Prankster shrugged and turned to Itey.  "Sounds good to me.  What do you say, Itey?" 

Itey walked over to where there were six spots open on the red side.  "I say dat we play."

  
And play they did.  Prankster seemed to be the checker expert among them, capturing more black pieces than any other player.  Due to her great skill at the game, she was able to make sure that no others were jumped and taken by the other team.

That is, until there was only one black piece left.  It was the red side's turn.  Prankster looked at the positioning of her fellow players and solemnly nodded.  "If I move this way, and allow that checker to jump me, then it leaves Squibble free to jump him and end the game."

"But, Prankster, what will happen when you're jumped?" Stress asked, alarmed.  Whenever the black pieces had jumped any of their pieces before, a large hand had appeared out of nowhere and picked the piece up, tossing it aimlessly to the side.  She didn't want her friend being picked up and tossed to the side.

"I don't know, Stress.  But it's the only way to win.  And we _have to win.  I don't know why we have to, but I know we have to.  Then, maybe, we can stop all the havoc that T.A.R.K. is wreaking."  For, throughout their walk before and throughout the checkers game, the six of them had realized that this was all part of T.A.R.K.'s sick idea of fun._

Then, before any of them could stop her, Prankster stepped forward and made her move.  Like they knew, the black piece jumped her and the large hand lifted her into the air and tossed her onto the pile of already jumped pieces.  Her body landed on the pile with a sickening thump.

"Prankster!" Stress and Squibble shouted, though somehow managing to stay on their squares.  Once Squibble was able to make her final move, winning the game for them, the two of them ran to her side.  Stress listened for a moment before addressing Jack, Itey and David.  "She's still breathing, but she's knocked out cold."

Itey walked over and placed his hand on Squibble's shoulder.  "She'll be fine if we leave her heah, fer now.  We'll come back fer her aftah we find a way outta dis place."

As Squibble nodded, David rushed forward and pushed Itey out of the way.  "Just because your girl ain't awake anymore doesn't mean you have to go for mine."

Stress and Itey started to laugh as Jack shouted, "Go, Dave!"  Squibble's face broke into a wide grin, "I knew you loved me, Davey!" 

David blushed furiously as Squibble began to plaster kisses all over his face.  "Alright, alright.  I think we should go through that door."

"Whatever you say, my stud muffin." Squibble giggled as she looped her arm through his.  Jack sidled next to Stress and mimicked the gesture, chuckling when she turned bright red.  "I love da effect I got on ya, Stress."

Itey rolled his eyes at them all, upset that his "friend" was gone.  "Come on, come on.  Let's go awlready."  Once he had seen that the two couples had followed him to the door, Itey opened it up and walked through.  "What the--"

"Atlantic City!" shouted Stress as she ran from Jack and entered into the casino-like environment.  "I wanna play the slots."

"Da sluts?" Jack asked.  "Why, I'se heah."

"Not the sluts, the slots.  You know, those machines that you put a quarter in and then you pull the handle."

"What?  You'd pay dat much money jist ta pull a handle?  Two bits fer dat?  What a rip-off."

"No, no-- y'know what, never mind.  Ooh, a blackjack dealer."  Stress rushed forward, with the four others following them.

"Howdy there, parder.  You wanna play some blackjack?" asked the dealer.

"Sure, I would lov-- Aahhh!!" Stress yelled as she ran behind Jack.

"Stress, what's wron-- Oh my God, it's Woody!" Squibble cried as she ran and hid behind David.

"Goils, what's goin' on?"  Itey asked.

Stress pointed at the cowboy standing in the dealer's spot behind the table.  "It's T.A.R.K.'s evil accomplice, Woody from Toy Story."

Jack walked over to Woody.  "I like yer hat, deah, Woody."

"Jack!" Stress cried as she reached out and pulled Jack away from Woody.  "Didn't you hear me?  He's evil!"

Woody smiled and shuffled his deck of cards.  "There's only one way out of this casino, pardners.  You must play me one hand of blackjack -- and win.  Otherwise you must turn back and live in the sewers."

Itey, David, Jack, Stress and Squibble all entered into a football huddle and debated for a moment.  "Break!"

Itey, who by now was voted leader of the group since he was so knowledgeable in such affairs, walked up to Woody.  "We'll play."

Woody grinned again and dealt the cards: His card was a queen, while Itey had a four.  Itey slowly lifted his second card and showed it to the others: a jack.  There total was a fourteen so Itey had nothing to do but ask for another card.  "Hit me."  It was a nine.  "Damn, we'se ovah.  How 'bout you'se, dealah."

Woody flipped his second card over.  Another queen.  "Ooh, tough luck.  Dealer wins."

David, who was beginning to grow some balls and stand up for himself instead of hiding behind Jack, rushed over to Itey's side.  "Wait, can't we have one more try.  I'm sure that we have something that you'll take for another hand."

Woody stroked his chin as he thought it over.  "You know, you do have something that T.A.R.K. would like."

"Really, what?" David asked, perplexed.

"Her." Woody answered as he pointed to Squibble.  "I think T.A.R.K. would be mighty happy if I brought her to him."

"O.K., one second.  We need to talk this over."  David motioned for Squibble, Stress, Jack and Itey to reform their huddle formation.  "Listen, I think we should do it.  That way we can have an informant on T.A.R.K.'s side."

"Wait, I think we should ask Squibble what she wants to do." suggested Stress.

"I don't know..." Squibble began but stopped when David put his hand on her shoulder.

"Squibble, you would make me _really happy if you would go with Woody to T.A.R.K..  Really, really happy."_

"O.K." she agreed.

"Good."  They broke the huddle again and David walked over to Woody this time.  "It's a deal."

"Good.  Here are the cards."  Woody shuffled the cards and dealt them.  This time he got a two, David an ace.  David slowly lifted the other card and whooped when he saw the face.  "I got blackjack!"

Woody frowned.  "So you do.  You may pass, you lucky varmints.  But you, my dear, will stay." Woody added when he noticed that Squibble was trying to sneak out with the others.

"I'll see you guys later." Squibble pouted as she went and joined Woody on the other side of the table.

"Bye Squibble!" they called, sad at leaving another of their number behind.  They exited the flashy casino through a back entrance and found themself, upon leaving the door, on the top of a rickety bridge, forty stories high.  At the end of the bridge was a door with a brightly lit "exit" sign.

"It's da back door ta Irvin' Hall.  I t'ink we're almost deah!" Jack yelled as he started to make his way across the bridge, Itey and David following close behind.  It wasn't until they were halfway across the bridge that they noticed that Stress was still at the end of the bridge, clinging to the door for dear life.

"Go ahead, fellas.  I'll git me goil." Jack said as he started to head back to get Stress.  "What's a mattah, Stress?"

"I...don't...like...bridges." she whispered, trying not to move.

"Are ya afraid o' heights?"

"No...I'm...afraid...of...falling."

"Well, we can't wait fer ya awl day.  Let's go."

"NO!"

"We already had ta leave two goils behind.  If I leave ya behind, too, I won't have any fun tanight at da lodgin' house.  You'se comin' wit' me."  And, before she could stop him, Jack flung her over his shoulder and proceeded to carry her that way over the entire bridge.

When they got to the end and he placed her on her feet, Stress reached out and slapped Jack.

"What was dat fer?"

"What if you would have dropped me?  I can't believe you just did that!"

"Oh, don't tell me ya didn't like me carryin' ya ovah me shouldah like dat."

"I did, that's the bad thing." Stress pouted and turned her back to Jack.

Itey and David both just rolled their eyes at the antics of the two.  "If ya don't mind, you'se two, I'm a li'l anxious ta entah dis door an' go back home." Itey announces, gesturing towards the door.

"Good idea, Itey.  Let's go." Jack agreed and opened the door.

The four of them all gasped as they found themselves face to face with a person.  It wasn't Woody, it wasn't Squibble, it wasn't Prankster, and it wasn't the one who they were expecting, T.A.R.K.

It was Quipster.  

At seeing the three newsies in front of her, Quipster shut the door behind them looked them all up and down.  "Now, my plan was to kiss all of the newsies.  But this is too weird.  I can't kiss Itey, he's my sidekick.  I can't kiss Davey because Squibble would kill me and besides, it's Davey.  But I can kiss Jack.  Pucker up, Cowboy!"

"Nooo!!" Stress screamed as she pushed Jack to the ground, out of the way of Quipster's lips, and fell on top of him.  "This is my newsie."

Quipster pouted as she looked at the stubborn look on Stress' face and the amused expression on Jack's.  "You're no fun, Stress.  All I want is one little kiss.  You can have the rest of him."

Stress was about to retort when all of a sudden their favorite red tornado appeared.  "Havin' fun me pals?"

Stress, Itey, David, Jack and Quipster all looked up at him and groaned.  "Hey Froggy, quick question.  Was dis awl yer doin?  Da garbage, da checkerboard an' da garbage?" Itey asked.

"Mwahahahaha." was the only answer they received as T.A.R.K. spun around 45 times, making them all incredibly dizzy.  After the last of them, I think it was Quipster, looked away from the spinning blur, lightning clapped all around them and they disappeared.

  
Luckily, though, a moment later they reappeared in the Manhattan Newsboys' Lodging House.  Yup, all six of them-- Stress, Jack, Quipster, Itey, Prankster and David.  Wait, Prankster?

"Wait, Prankstah?  What are you'se doin' back heah?" Itey asked as David began looking around the lodging house.

"I don't know.  The last thing I remember was making my last move and now, poof, I'm back in the lodging house." Prankster said before noticing David's search.  "What are you doing, Dave?"

"I'm looking for Squibble.  I kind of figured that since Prankster came back, maybe Squibble did to."

"Ooh, Davey likes Squibble!" Quipster laughed as David turned bright red.

"Don't worry, Dave.  We'll get yer Squibble back.  As soon as I uh, spend a li'l quality time in me favorite cornah ovah deah." Jack announced, dragging Stress along with him.  Now that they were back in the lodging house, the handcuffs were back in place.

"Hey Quip, ya wanna trade now?" Stress called before Jack led her back to the corner to resume their activities before their underground, sewer adventure.

_Later Stress, Quipster thought with a smile as she went off to torment Davey some more, __later._

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**Author's End Note:  So, what did you think?  Long enough for ya?  I hope so!  Why don't you leave me a review and tell me what you thought?  Thanks!**


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